You know how most of the time most parents get so concerned about babies hitting their milestones..and when they don’t hit, they are not in the ‘normal’ range? Or your kid cant do his/her spelling when other kids her age could? I believed that society has moulded us into this so-called ‘kancheong’ and ‘kiasu’ parents (a hokkien slang) and this is a mental note to remind myself not to fall into this category.
Because every baby is different.
If we make notes of their progression by the books we are most likely not going to enjoy our baby. Why would I say that? Because comparison is indeed the thief of joy.
I was once in that category..and I behaved that way because Charley was drinking less milk than most babies her age would. I was actually comparing her with other babies. In fact, for a minute, I thought she was rejecting milk intake because while another younger baby was drinking 120ml consistently, Charley was only clocking a wide range of 40-90ml. That was about when she was 3 months-ish. I remembered I was so worried about her growth because her only source of food was milk and she was drinking so little! I was so stressed every time she refused her milk and it felt like I was forcing milk down her tiny throat. But well, I have a baby with character so she would actually turn her head away from the bottle teat or she simply doesn’t open her mouth. No joke. We even brought her to the PD to check out if there was any issue with her.. the milk powder or whatever. But nothing was wrong.
On another occasion, a young doctor had made a note in Charley’s health booklet and determined that she was having a head lag and needed to be reassessed on her next visit while I thought she was already doing quite well! This only meant that I had to live up with national standards and train my baby more often with tummy time so she’s progressing at the same rate other babies her age would. Talk about living in a rat race.
I hate it when people make comments such as ‘How’s Charley doing? Can she do her flip overs yet? Because so and so is already able to do that at this age!’ Well, if I could rebut with a quick reply I would have said ‘So and so can flip as much as he/she wants and join a circus! Charley can flip whenever she feels like doing so cause we’re not in a rush!’ I’m sure many parents are asked questions or given comments like these in similar fashion and it could really get nervy at times.
In case you’re wondering, Charley does her flip overs whenever she feels like it. Especially after baths or when she just woke up from her sleep. Just yesterday she flipped over and continue to sleep on her tummy! (We turned her over the min we saw her sleeping in that manner). Her head assessment was given the ‘green light’ during our last vaccine appt. Also, she’s clocking 110-120ml 4 hrly even though she’s pretty challenging to feed. Any amount will suffice as long as she drinks actually.
So I’ve learnt and come to accept that every baby is different. And i can only hope that my kid will love me the way I love her because I’m not a perfect mum either! If my kid compares me with a Supermum I’ll be so dead. So happy 5 months old (tmr) baby! Lets learn and grow together…at your pace 🙂