Keisen is turning 1 in a few days time! It’s crazy how time flies…to think I have been caring for this little being for almost a year (or more since he was curated for 9 months!) I am planning a mini tea party for this boy’s birthday, afterall I’ve got one planned for Charley when she was 1, so how could I sit this one out? I must be fair right?
With 2 kiddos now, the question I get asked the most was, ‘Who do you dote on more?’ To be honest, it really depends on how you see it. It is also dependable on the person receiving it. When Charley was a the only kiddo in the family, she had all our attention. But with Keisen now, she had to share us with her brother. At this stage, if you’d ask the big sister, she may choose to think my attention is on Keisen more than on her. It is as upsetting to me as it is to her, because Keisen is more dependable at this stage and I didn’t have a choice. I do find myself leaning more towards doting on Charley because she is getting less of me in the day, even though she may feel otherwise. But in all honesty, I want to be fair in loving both of them.
Some people commented, ‘How can you be fair when your heart is on one side?’ Indeed it is hard. I feel that boys don’t exactly get all sensitive about all these, but girls…they will feel it. So when Charley asks me who do I love more, I’d always say that I love both of them, both in their own way. It is noticeable on her shift of emotions when she feels that I am not giving her enough attention and I am trying very hard to work on that. As trying as it is, it isn’t exactly easy when she chose to give me all the meltdowns, tantrums and what’s not. It is challenging, and I often have to remind myself that she is just a kid, one that is ‘forced to be a little more mature’ for she has to care for her younger sibling now.
Motherhood is tough. Very often we are made out to be the bad cop because we cared about everything else (are the kids fed? Did they nap? What should I cook for them? Why did they eat so little? etc) aside to just having fun. I mean, if we don’t do those then who will? Many times we also have to deal with the mom guilt that accompanied all the ‘No-s’; this I’m sure is going to stay for quite some time. Which is why whenever possible, I try to bring both kids out for fun. I find that it is necessary to guide Charley to understand that it is still fun to go out with her little brother although he is little. With time, I’m sure they will have all the fun they’re missing now.